It's been way too long. And I'm sorry.
Excuse the ego here, but I feel like I owed something to all of the people who've read this blog an/or followed my 'career' in the poker-world. Instead, I just disappeared.
As some of you know, I started law school in June, and have seen my volume decrease significantly. I tried to do both at first, but after a while, I realized it simply couldn't be done. I know a few guys who've been able to do it, but I can't. I can't sit down for 15 minutes and rely on one huge pot, or chase a random donk to higher stakes. No, my entire profit is based on putting in the hours, the games, and riding out the variance train. While I'm not sure about the exact number, I figure I played somewhere between 50-75 SNGs/day in 2008, up until the Summer session began.
I won't lie. I miss it. I miss the extra money, the 'thrill of victory,' waking up late, going to bed later, and even telling people that I play for a living. While some scoffed or turned up their noses, many people were friendly and inqusitive. Sure, most were ignorant, but it didn't matter. I lapped it all up.
And now things are different. I have to wake up early, work harder and longer, with no immediate rewards to reap. No $1k+ days. Only the speculative promise that if I do well, I have the potential of possibly securing a good job in the future. Maybe. But I survive by looking at it a different way: It's +EV in the long run. I'm not saying that some people can't play poker forever, nor that I couldn't have made a successful living by doing so. But I'm not sure it's what I would have wanted, for my life. I miss the game a lot, but I don't miss being anti-social. I don't miss being a hermit. I don't miss the variance affecting my mood.
This blog entry isn't titled 'Goodbye,' because I'm not leaving. I'll still play here and there. I love the game too much to quit altogether. But the dream of grinding has faded a bit, at least for now. I suppose I held off writing this entry because I didn't want to admit that. I wanted to be able to do both, to make my five figure months and ultimately grind enough FPPs for the Porsche. But I've got to give law school a fair shake. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to come back to poker by helping rescind all that anti-gambling legislation.
Thanks again to everyone who contributed to the blog by leaving comments, sending me encouraging emails/instant messages, and taking the time out of your life to read about mine. It meant a lot.
Sincerely,
Aaron 'abarone68' Barone
