The Bitter Man in Seat 5

My father owns a carpet cleaning business and recently invited me to attend a Surfaces trade show with him -- in Las Vegas. Umm, sure.

I was only there from Tuesday through Thursday, but this trip marks the sixth time I've been to Vegas in the past half year. I went in September, October, November, December, January, and February. Best part is that I'm in the process of buying tickets for March and June.

My dad was busy with the trade show for several hours a day, leaving me with ample time to play poker. And unlike last trip, I played a lot of $1/$2 NL. Close to 20 hours I think, not bad for a three day period. There are simply way too many hands to talk about, so I've decided to tell the story of only one.

On Wednesday, I sat down around 1 PM and bought in for $200. It only took me an orbit or two to realize that the old man in seat 5 was a douche. He wasn't that old -- maybe 55, 60 and unsuccessfully trying to hide his baldness with a comb-over. I don't know why people do that, it's not like you're fooling anyone. If anything, you're drawing more attention to yourself, like a fat kid who wears a t-shirt in the pool. Pot after pot, the old grumpy man would complain.

"I can't catch any cards!"

"What is this crap?"

"Oh of course he raised me, I have nothing."

I didn't mind much, but then he began to harass the dealers, blaming THEM for his bad run of cards. I wish I could say I stepped in at that point, told him to knock it off, and ended the verbal assault. But I didn't. I kept my mouth shut while he continued his rude display. A few hands later, I pick up trash in the big blind and it's a multiway limped pot. I obviously check, the flop comes AKQ and gets checked around. Jack on the turn. I had been talking with a few players at the table in between hands, and playfully said "I need a ten for a straight." The old grumpy man raised his index finger to me and put it over his lips.

Grumpy: Hey, you're not allowed to talk about your hand.
Me: Excuse me?
Grumpy: It's a rule, you can't do that
Me: Actually I'm fairly certain it's not a rule, but out of respect, I'll stop.

See? No confrontation. This seemed to appease him and I smiled politely, but inside I was pissed. HE wants to give me a lesson on table ettiqute. Please. Right then and there, I told myself I was going to get him.

And then, I get my chance.

I button straddle ($4 on the button, SB acts first). SB folds, BB folds, and the grumpy old man flats the $4. Another player calls in between, I raise to $21. Villain calls and we're heads up.

Flop is 678 rainbow.

He leads for $15, I smell weakness. He had folded several times when raised, so I decided to pull the trigger and make it $35 more. He calls.

Turn 2.

He checks. Crap. If he called the flop, he's probably calling the turn here. I sigh internally, and check it back to him.

River A.

He checks. Well I missed my open ended straight draw and am left with King high. The Ace, however, is a great card for me to bet as my opponent is likely to have some weak holding like middle pair. I cut out $80 and put it in the middle. He folds instantly and bitches at the dealer.

Grumpy: Goddamit Geno (The dealer), you had to put that Ace out there. Everytime.

I decide that now is the time to prod him.

Me: Want to know what the worst part is?
Grumpy: What?
Me: You had the best hand

I expose my cards as I utter that last line, and he goes berserk. He stands up from the table in such a violent fashion that his chair falls back to the floor. He slams his hand down on the felt as hard as possible, causing his remaining chips to tumble from their previously neat stacks.

"Thank you for showing me," he yells menacingly.

"Thank you for berating the dealers," I reply.

I apparently caught him off guard.

Grumpy: Well, that's their job.
Me: Sir, no one deserves to get yelled at for doing their job.
Grumpy: But we tip them. And for what? So we get good cards sometimes?
Me: No, we tip them for doing a service. And what makes you think you think you have the right to yell at someone simply because you tip them?
Him: You don't know anything
Me: Are you basing this off our age difference or your astute sense of logic?
Him: I've been listening to you the whole time and you know nothing about life.
Me: Maybe not, but hopefully the money I just won from you can help me learn a thing or two.
Him: You want to learn something outside?

I look at him, puzzlingly. Did this guy really just challenge me to a fight? You've got to be kidding me. In most situations where I've been asked to "go outside," a strong sense of anger and adrenaline run through my veins. But not this time. I suppose it was because I didn't have any fear about being beaten up. Not by this dumpy old man.

Me: Outside? Umm, okay.

Our entire conversation had taken place with the old man standing behind the table, but now he took his seat off the floor and sat back down. Oh, so we're not going outside? Bummer.

Grumpy: I don't want to hear anymore from you.
Me: That's too bad, because as long as you're here, I'm not leaving this table.

Only two hands later, he gets 1/2 of his stack all in preflop and turns over Kings. His opponent doesn't show. The entire board is low cards. His opponent looks at the board, the two black Kings in front of the grumpy man, and sighs. At the last second, he flips his hand. Pocket Aces! What an awesome slowroll! The old man curses loudly, stacks up his remaining chips and leaves the poker room while I bite my tongue to hold in the laughter. Justice, oh sweet justice.

Me: Here's $10 Geno, sorry you have to put up with guys like him.
Geno: It's okay, it made my day to see him lose with Kings against Aces.
Me: Mine too.

The Grinder

I'm glad January is behind me. The start to 2010 was a bit rough, but I appear to have weathered the storm and am headed in the right direction. Up.

Looking back on January, it wasn't really that bad of a month. Sure, the first week or so sucked. And yeah, I didn't play as many games as I had initially hoped, which at this point should come as a shock to no one. Most notably, I didn't make as much money as I wanted to this month. But sometimes I have to step back and take a look at the bigger picture.

A few weeks back, Glitlr and I took a break from the now infamous poker "weekend" and grabbed lunch. He and I hadn't enjoyed the greatest success over the last day or so, and bitched about poker/variance over our respective sandwiches. At one point, however, everything was put into perspective. While he and I complained about the riggors of the grind, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a woman in a green shirt wipe down a table behind us. Her eyes caught my glance for a split second and she smiled. She's the real grinder, not us. We get to play a game for a living. A game! During this "horrible" month, I'll still make considerably more money than this poor woman, who obviously was working longer and harder than I could possibly imagine. I don't say that to brag, but simply to point out that I sometimes forget how lucky I truly am -- despite the red line saying otherwise.

The New Picture(s)

I posted a new picture as my default. About time, I suppose. I've had that one up there for a long, long time. And the best part is that I'm not even the focal point of that picture.

I think I had this one in the very beginning. Look at those fancy chips! Oh, the life of an 18 year old $5 SNG player. I miss that shirt. It used to fit before I started working out and/or eating lots of food.

I considered putting this one up as the default, but decided to go with the other one. It was taken earlier this month, when I went on a "forum trip." I subliminally flex.

The forum trip was awesome, as several of my e-friends have since transcended that boundary to become friends. Except "Shifty" (to the left of me), as I apparently told him I loved him. I might have had a drink.

Or ten.

Oh, I forgot to mention the highlight of the trip: The Porno Convention. Officially, it was known as the AVN Award Show or something else that sounds much less trashy. I have to admit, it was quite an odd experience. For starters, 95% of the crowd is comprised of old, heavy-set, fanny pack toting men. Creepy men. Being a decent looking, somewhat affluent 20-something definitely makes you stand out. As for the "adult entertainers," well, I felt a bit awkward. I didn't know exactly what to say to them, since every compliment I could think of saying made me feel dirty inside. So I made small talk and had a lot of pictures taken.

She is a genie, after all...

She was my favorite. Very personable. Oh, and smoking hot.

I went up to her and said, "Hi, I don't know your name. But I'd like to."

I still have no idea who she is, but she told me I smelled nice

Where was I? Oh yeah, poker. Though I'm still below my red line, I can't complain about the last few weeks. Since my tune up, I've put in nearly 2,000 games at nearly a 9% clip. Not bad at all, especially since I'm running thirty tables. While all the games have been $16s, that was the plan -- to put in a decent sample and regain my confidence. Starting as early as next week, I'll be back to my normal stakes ($27s/$38s) though I still might load some of the $16s if I get the urge.

The Poker Weekend III

Went to bed last "night" at 7 AM, so I rolled out of bed this afternoon just after 1 PM. Matt and I had planned to keep the same schedule, but no dice -- PokerStars is having another server restart, and games won't be available for another few hours.

Considering how we've been running, it's probably for the best. Collectively, this was the worst day of the weekend.


Worst day of the weekend, so far!

Counting the games from last night, I'm up about $150. Doesn't sound too bad, but it's through 328 games. Yes, 328 games. Rather proud of the volume, but not so much the 3% ROI.

Matt put in only 194 games (He apparently values his sleep more than I do) and dropped $54. Gross. He was rather discouraged at one point, but a spicy italian sub soothed his nerves a bit. While we ate lunch, I offered him a "buyout" of sorts in our bet -- If he could simply get his red line to $10,000 profit, he wouldn't have to pay me. Matt's red line is ~$6400 and hopefully I've provided him with a bit of extra motivation to grind out the rest of the month.

The Poker Weekend II

Second day, not nearly as good as the first.

Matt started out hot, winning $400 in his first set of $16s while I put three solid sessions together to get to $220. And then, the bottom dropped out.

I gave it all back in my next set, cashing in only six games. Matt lost a few buy ins here, a few more there, and then even more. Both of us have grinded our way back, however, and currently are near $200 profit each. Not bad, but not great either.





What's the plan for now? Well, it's 2 AM and most sane people are asleep here in California. But we're not like most people, and our sanity is debatable. I'm at 230 games for the day and would like to reach 300 before I go to bed. And I know Matt doesn't want to end the day on a sour note, so I'm sure he's down to put a few more sets in.

The Poker Weekend

A long time ago, a friend of mine (and fellow SNG expert in his own right) suggested that we have a "poker weekend," in which we grind day and night, hopefully motivating each other to put in games and spend some quality time together.

With Matt "Glitlr" Meo currently in the midst of a $10,000 prop bet, I figured now was a great time to do it. He arrived early this morning -- too early, if you ask me -- and we've been playing/talking poker almost non-stop. Except in public, because he refuses to discuss poker in front of others for fear of being "that guy." You know, that guy who drones on and on about his big hands and bad beats.

So far, so good. The two of us have put in about 160 games a piece and have eclipsed $1,500 total profit. Not too shabby for a day's work. And I'm playing as well as I'm running, if not better. My last set I dropped a little over a buy-in but was re-assured by Hold'em Manager that my expectation was closer to $200.

Here is a screen shot from today's games. Yep, the green line is still a tad below the red line. But the best part? Apparently I played well enough today to get a 25.8% ROI -- And 14.6% over my last 800 games.



Matt's a bit closer to his ultimate goal, earning $10,000 through the $16 9-mans in January. Scratch that, he's about 1/10th of the way there just in the last twelve hours. I, of course, bet against him because I'm a good friend. He had been mired in a bit of a slump the last few hundred games, but it looks like he's turned it around so I'll have to sweat out the final few days of the month. And although technically the weekend ends in a little under three hours, our poker weekend will last until Wednesday.

The Light

I'm not a superstitious person. For the most part I don't even believe in luck -- although I do have a pair of "lucky boxers," but that's neither here nor there. But after running so horribly over the last month and a half, I'm not about to jinx myself and say that I'm out of the woods just yet.

It's only a 500 or so game sample, but I'm (gasp) turning a profit. Even better, my red line (expectation) has increased as well. The last month or so has been the most trying time of my entire career. I've wanted to quit on so many separate occasions. I questioned my own play, sought help from various SNG grinders, and forgot what it felt like to win.

I looked at my Hold'em Manager (HEM) to take solace in the fact that I was "supposed" to be winning, but unfortunately, that didn't make me feel much better. Because while I was running significantly below expectation (about $4k or so), even running at expectation would have been considered a downswing. That only meant one thing -- somewhere along the way, I had developed a few leaks.

It happens to the best of us. A few hundered games go awry and you begin to shy away from making the standard move because it hasn't been working. Those habits creep in and suddenly the "standard" play is the wrong one. I'm nearly positive I identified the problem -- and luckilly, I've found a way to fix it.

And while this downswing has been very frustrating, I think it will be good for me in the long run. Because before, I was averaging just over 7% ROI in the $16s and now my red line is a shade under 11%. Short term variance? Possibly. I'd like a larger sample to be sure, but as it looks, I've improved my game. And in this day in age, contentment kills. No doubt about it, SNGs are tougher than they've ever been. One of the top $60 winners just told me that he's moving down so he doesn't have to play a game with six regs. If you're not constantly evaluating your play and looking for areas to better your game, other players will pass you by. Think of it like any professional sport -- there is always someone who wants it more. Someone who is willing to work, to train, to do whatever neccesary to reach the top. And if you're on top, you'll have to work just as hard to keep your spot.

Let's hope I've been able to reclaim mine.

The Same

The same, as in "more of."

A new month, a new year, and same old downswing. Worst part is that I'm way down in $16s and actually (somewhat) up at a small sample of $27s. I'm down $1300 in my last 400 games and $3k in my last 2600. It's official, I'm about to snap.

I took yesterday off to refocus. Spent a few hours going over hand ranges, analyzing possible leaks, and doing anything and everything to get myself back on track. At this point, I figure there has to be something I'm doing wrong. Or at least something I can improve upon. I found a few spots where I could gain some equity, but nothing major -- I just need to stop losing 60/40s.

I dropped down in tables to make sure that each individual decision was the right one, and so far the results have been about the same, if not worse. I was talking with a fellow grinder and he said that the games are tougher these days. And he's right, but they're not this tough.

When I came back in May of 2009, I was able to get a 7% ROI while 30-tabling. 7% isn't setting the world on fire, but it's damn good for 30 tables. And that 7% was sustained for over 11,000 games. But I keep wondering if something changed. If I changed. Have I been shoving wider? Playing too tight? Are opponents adjusting? I simply don't know.

I believe I'm playing optimally. SNG Wiz says the shoves are fine. I'm not passing up any significant edges. I should be winning -- but the results simply aren't backing me up. And I'm finding myself more irritable, more on edge, and less of the happy person I pride myself to be. I don't like it. If this trend continues, I might have to drop SNGs and either play another game, or quit poker altogether.